Justice Souter Retires


CALLED IT, as soon as I realized he hadn’t picked clerks halfway through April. He was always last to pick, but April is too long to wait even for him.

(I have the jealous. He’s going home to a cabin in New Hampshire with no Intertubes or telephones and where people leave him the fuck alone with his prodigious brain. I want to be left the fuck alone with Souter’s prodigious brain.)

(He does own a television, a gift from some friends. He has never plugged it in.)

Scott Lemieux contemplates the political effects of Souter’s retirement at the Guardian’s Comment is Free.

Statements from the remaining eight justices. Scalia, as usual, comes through with a zing: “The only consolation is that I am sure he will be happy back in his cold and beloved New Hampshire.”

It was inevitable: white man Mark Halperin throws a shitfit over the possibility that Obama will consider candidates for Souter’s vacancy who are not straight white cisgendered males.

Dear Halperin:
(a) If you gave your son seven-ninths of his birthday cake, would you let him pitch a hissyfit over how you gave his sister and his friend from next door one-ninth each? No. You’d box his ears and tell him to suck it up and quit being a whiny pansy-ass cakeface. Therefore, Halperin: suck it up and quit being a whiny pansy-ass cakeface. Why, NEXT year you might have to admit that women and POCs are HUMAN!

(b) I currently put the chances of Obama nominating Cass Sunstein at better than fifty percent. And Cass Sunstein is what? Oh, yeah – A WHITE MALE. Dumbshit.

(I had Elena Kagan first in line, but I don’t see him moving her out of the SG’s office quite so soon.)

Speaking of Obama, is he backpedaling on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”? Seems to me now would be the time to strike, when gays are already getting gayified rights of gayness in multiple gaytastic states, and the armed forces are in no position to put up an effective fight against the ongayslaught. But what would I know?


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