Satan’s “Evangelism,” Part 3: EBIL HINDOOS

19Mar09

I’m skipping Chapter 3, because it’s basically just a “Shame On You” list of biggest New Age names of the 1980s. In case you’re wondering, they call out Helen Schucman, Marilyn Ferguson, Shirley MacLaine, Napoleon Hill, Jose Silva, Terry Cole-Whitaker, Werner Erhard, and Edgar Cayce.

The fact that no one, and I mean NO ONE, I know, no matter how fluffy or how old, still takes Napoleon Hill seriously gives me great hope that this “The Secret” bullshit will blow over. After all, Think and Grow Rich IS The Secret, only about twenty years beforehand.

Oh, and Satan invented both Transcendentalism (think Thoreau) and Psychoanalysis (think Jung). That Satan. Who knows what he’ll invent next. Women’s pants, perhaps?

Chapter 4 is titled “Pantheism: The First Spiritual Flaw,” which judging by its content must be Evangelist for “OMG EBIL HINDUZE!” The content of the chapter goes like this:

“OMG, we hate Hinduism. Holy CRAP do we hate Hinduism. Hinduism is totally and solely responsible for every miserable human condition on this earth. It’s why India is a shithole. And it IS a shithole, dear readers, don’t get us wrong; we know, even though we have obviously never set foot in the place. In India you totally can’t step on ants or get a decent hamburger. Also there’s a ton of malaria and floods. What’s that all about? HINDUISM. That’s right. Disease? Hinduism. Famine? Hinduism. Inclement weather? Hinduism. Barren farmland? Hinduism. Colonial oppression? Also Hinduism.

“All the horrible things we complain about in this book are Hinduism’s fault, because it preaches such nonsense as meditating and caring about things that aren’t yourself. Also, Hinduism destroys science. That’s why India doesn’t have anything cool, like atomic bombs or space probes.* Hinduism, people. FEER IT.”

At which point I had to put the book down because I was laughing so hard I cried. In 1989, Hinduism was going to get us. In 2001, Islam was going to get us. Who’s next? Are the Buddhists massing on some amoral front? HALP!

Chapter 5 is basically the same theme, only on reincarnation. Yawn.

Tune in next time when we explore Chapter 6, “Moral Relativism: The Third Spiritual Flaw.” BONUS SNARK: Be Intolerant: Because Some Things Are Just Stupid, a 2003 publication on exactly the same themes. The power of Ryan Dobson compels you!

*To be fair, India did not have a space probe in 1989.

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2 Responses to “Satan’s “Evangelism,” Part 3: EBIL HINDOOS”

  1. 1 sanjaychoudhry

    These evangelists seem to be snorting something poweful.

    The Hindu India (from 1000 BC to 1000 AD) was called the Golden Bird by the Westerners, especially Roman Emperors who lamented that all the bullion of the empire was spent on purchasing luxury goods from India.

    Hindus invented the modern numbering system (the so called Arab numerals), the concept of zero, algebra, calculus, Yoga, meditation, philosophy and were writing tomes on astronomy in 1000 BC, correctly calculating the circumference of earth.

    Hindus invented Sanskrit — the only artificially created language in the world which NASA declared to be the most perfect language for computer coding.

    In 1757 when the Brits captured India, Indians were the richest producers in the world, producing 25 percen of the world’s GDP. They had remained the richest people on this planet for 2000 years till the Brits arrived and sucked them dry.

    I don’t know what these evangelists smoke to come up with this kind of drivel against the Hindus. This kind of abuse for Hindus is rich, coming from people who insisted that sun goes around the eath and were willing to kill anyone who dared say otherwise.

    After wiping off 100 million Red Indians from the face of the earth, they promptly declared themselves as the religion of love. These charlatans make me sick.

  2. 2 Dani

    The authors made it pretty obvious they’d never actually been to India, talked to anyone who practiced Hinduism, or opened a history book. They also make it pretty obvious that theirs is the “religion of love – love for explaining how you’re going to hell!”

    Of the major (and minor) world religions, I probably know the least about Hinduism, but even I know that it’s nothing like these nutcases portray it. Much less is India (which I know slightly more about, though I have also never been there) – and whatever problems India does have are every bit as complex as everyone else’s.

    What’s really sad is that they don’t even try to make a case for their version of Christianity. If their version of Christianity really was superior to New Age beliefs or to Actual Hindu Beliefs, you’d think it’d be easy enough to say that. The fact that they rely solely on “if we bash everyone else enough we’ll be the only ones left standing!”-type tactics makes me highly suspicious that, despite their wailing about New Age snake-oil, they’re really the ones selling something….


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