Live from Pixie Manor, Pt VI (is it bedtime yet?)

03Oct08

10:02: Bosniacs? Really? …I would eat my own pants RIGHT NOW (and post it to YouTube) if somebody were to mention the Roma. I wonder what the parties’ platforms are on, say, Romani fingerprinting? Can the parties have a platform on a people who aren’t legally recognized by the United States? (Answer: of course! Everybody hates terrorists!)
10:03: Palin is so confused by this Washington business! You voted for something, and then you voted against it! Changing your mind, man, that’s freaky. I just don’t get it! It’s not like presidents lie as a pretext for war! It’s not like you didn’t know facts yesterday that you know today! Learning? What?
10:04: No, it was not a “war resolution.” It was an Authorization for the Use of Military Force. There’s being a “Washington outsider,” and there’s just being ignorant.
10:06: John McCain knows how to win a war because he’s “been there.” You know, IN THE FIRST WAR AMERICA EVER LOST.
10:08: Biden: the white Obama. Whobama.
10:09: This is the most important election any of us have voted in since 1932. Well, yeah; I know my 1932 vote was SRS BZNZ.
10:09: Palin means “when.”
10:10: Here’s an idea: maybe “everyday working-class Americans” want government to ensure they can feed their kids and see a doctor when they get sick or injured! Maybe?
10:11: STOP SAYING “SCRANTON.” IT MAKES ME FEEL WEIRD.
10:12: Oh, I get it now: when Biden talks about change, it’s “looking backward”; when Palin talks about change, it’s “mavericky.” Please, talk about how you’d change special-needs education BY NOT FUNDING IT.
10:13: Of course I know what a Vice President does! Someone just told me backstage! Also, I told a joke! Silly Washington insiders, who would expect me to mean things I say on the teevee!
10:16: Palin has no idea which branch of government the Vice Presidency belongs to. More evidence she’s never actually read the Constitution. Or talked to Cheney, for that matter – he didn’t mean the Constitution is “flexible,” he meant that he was not subject to anyone’s oversight.
10:17: The VP doesn’t even sit over the Senate on an ordinary day – that’s the President pro tempore’s job. FYI.
10:18: Your experience as an executive is as a regulator? Palin is so far outside Washington she hasn’t even cracked a civics textbook. Oh, and on behalf of your “special-needs child”: STFU. You have NO FUCKING IDEA. You will. But you don’t yet.
10:19: President Reagan stole that line from the Puritans, dear, who stole it from the Bible. Crack a history book while you’re at it.
10:19: Stop saying “reforming.” YOU ARE THE PARTY IN POWER. ACT LIKE IT.
10:20: And Biden pulls out what I personally consider his ace in the hole, the Violence Against Women Act. And his single parenthood. And THE FEMINISM CARD (the notion that because he’s a man he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a single parent or to care desperately about your kids). SHINING MOMENT FOR JOE BIDEN.
10:21: John McCain has had to take on his own party! He’s unreliable! He can’t be trusted! He’ll jump your shit at any moment! He’s mavericky! What does this have to do with anything Biden just said – or the original question?
10:22: “He is the man that we need to leave- lead.” FREUDIAN SLIP. CHECK AND MATE!
10:23: McCain is so a maverick, Biden. You’re just a sourpuss. Borrowing and spending to put this country in a metric shitton of debt is maverick-tastic!
10:26: Palin says she’s never had to compromise because they’ve “worked together” in Alaska. Does she think the definition of “compromise” is “not getting my way”?
10:27: Pulled my head out of the debate just long enough to notice the cat is sleeping with her face on my Qur’an. The terrorists have already won!
10:28: She’s said twice she has a very “diverse family.” Is her grandmother Korean? Her grandfather a transman? What the hell does she mean by that?
10:29: “The filter of the mainstream media”? Did we learn you can’t name a single SCOTUS case through the fine mesh of Katie Couric’s head?
10:30: There are no “economic freedoms” for the hockey moms you claim to be just like, Palin. Do not make me explain in excruciating detail why you are SO VERY WRONG.
10:30: Biden says this is the most important election we’ve ever voted in in our entire lives. Speak for yourself, spring chicken: I voted in 1932!

10:32: MORAL: It’s time for America to get up together, having laid down together in 1968 behind the A&P with some really good acid.

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7 Responses to “Live from Pixie Manor, Pt VI (is it bedtime yet?)”

  1. 1 Dana

    *sn3rk* right ON, sistah … tell it on the mountain … 😀
    (GREAT transcription, btw. LOL!)

  2. “He is the man that we need to leave- lead.”

    BEST. LINE. EVER.

  3. Also I would comment more but I am a little bit drunk. I got through this debate with some hollerin’ and a 2003 Chianz- Crianz- red wine.

  4. President Reagan stole that line from the Puritans, dear, who stole it from the Bible.

    Actually, it’s been used many times (but I too still get irked when people attribute it to Reagan), I think Lincoln used it too, if not literally then figuratively. In fact, I think that it was first used by Pericles, and when he said it I’m pretty sure he meant “Embezzle large amounts of money from the Delian League to fund public works projects in Athens and cement its place in Western Culture.”

  5. 5 Dani

    When used specifically to refer to America, “a shining city on a hill” is a historical reference specifically to the Puritan vision of the country they were going to build in the New World.

  6. 6 Elsewhere

    Hi! I was pointed here by a friend on Livejournal and just wanted to say I really, REALLY enjoyed reading your coverage of the debate! Well done and thank you!

  7. 7 Miss Silver

    May I just say that this is utterly brilliant? And captures many points I thought in a majority of respects.


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