Bonus points if you clicked because the next line was surely “Or rather, Alfred.”

I’m Dani. I’m not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I’m one hell of a medical malpractice defense attorney. I’m also female, disabled, a Fam Trad nonreligious witch who reads way too much Judaica, and a pigmentationally-challenged Romanichal Gypsy who has spent so much time passing for a white American gadje that I’m fuckin’ saturated with white privilege. Which is why I try to keep my fuckin’ mouth shut and listen to what the grownups are saying. If, in fact, they are saying it like grownups. Everyone else is going to get jumped. I’m a lawyer, remember; I argue for fun AND profit.

I live on the shore of beautiful Lake Michigan in a hundred-year-old boarding house. I have also lived in a barn, a trailer home, a dorm room, a studio apartment infested with bedbugs, a studio apartment NOT infested with bedbugs, a 750-square-foot reproduction of an 1812 farmhouse, and a tin shack on a Superfund site. I enjoy writing, figure skating, camping, and demanding to know why we assume this or that idea is true when there is no reason it should be true, nor no evidence it is true apart from the fact that we all act like it is true. I’m a fucking fashionista. My hobbies consist almost entirely of being someone else.